A Profound Loss

A lot has happened in my personal life since my last blog post. I did end up postponing the pop-up sale by one week to help Mother as she needed to move back to her previous apartment at Overture Arcadia from skilled nursing while we were waiting for her assisted living apartment at Acoya Shea to be ready. We ended up moving her to Acoya Shea the day before the pop-up sale started. I hired movers who packed everything at Overture Arcadia and then brought everything to Acoya Shea but they only set up the bed and did not unpack anything.

Luckily I had been preparing for the pop-up sale ever since we returned to Scottsdale in November so things were in good shape, and I was even able to take more jewelry photos than usual. We did not have huge attendance but just about everyone who attended were quality customers who loved the jewelry and purchased multiple items. I did have to kick someone out of the sale because his behavior was over the top atrocious. I was definitely too upset and worried about Mother to deal with that. Financially speaking, I did need to go on with the pop-up sale as I knew we were going to have extended time off from estate sales.

Unfortunately the pop-up sale did take me away from helping Mother unpack everything and getting Acoya Shea organized in a timely manner. I helped as much as I could, and she also hired a young lady who helped for a few hours as well. Because she had to move so quickly, there was no time to downsize her possessions again and there was way too much to deal with. There is a complete kitchen in the apartment but all meals are provided for so there is really no need to make anything. She did not need the full compliment of kitchen items. At first Mother was not sure about the food but she did grow to really enjoy it. I ate with her several times and everything I ordered was delicious. We had even gotten a power chair for her so she could take herself to meals and not rely on staff to push her in the wheelchair. However, she was only able to use the power chair for two days...

Mother was just starting to get acclimated at Acoya Shea when things took a sad turn. After just 11 days at the new apartment, she was admitted to the ER on December 23. She had bumped her head on the metal bedframe and the accident gave her a black eye. However her CO2 and water retention levels were too high and she needed to be aggressively treated for these conditions. Additionally, she caught pneumonia at the hospital and it all ultimately was too much for her to handle. Christmas Eve was the last day I was able to speak with Mother in person. Except for New Year's Day which was the day Rachel arrived, she was in a comatose state the rest of the time. We were told that Mother's kidneys were failing due to all the treatments and that she was too weak for dialysis. Mother did not want any extraordinary measures taken to prolong her life such as to be placed on a ventilator or have a feeding tube. She was not able to leave the hospital and go to hospice because she was on high-flow oxygen, which cannot be provided anywhere else. We knew Mother was not going to be able to go back to Acoya Shea so Kuochun and I began the difficult task of clearing out the apartment. We took all the small items away by hand and I had movers handle the furniture, bringing it back to Overture Arcadia. Kuochun and I set up Overture Arcadia for Rachel as well before she arrived so she would have a quiet place to stay. Even though it was only a full size mattress, it was really difficult for us to move. My phone rang when we were in the middle of moving the mattress and I was shocked to hear Mother's voice. She must have had someone call me from the phone in the hospital room. I had no idea that this would be the last time I would ever speak with her.

We lost Mother the evening of Saturday, January 4. Luckily the nurse on duty was the best one she had this stay and she did everything in her power to make sure Mother did not suffer in her final moments. Rachel and I were with her but Kuochun had to go back home to walk and feed the dogs. He was still at home when Mother passed so he came back to pick me up. It was quite a sad moment waiting outside the hospital doors for Kuochun, holding Mother's purse and clothing.

It has been a little over a week now and Rachel stayed until Saturday to help take care of final arrangements, returning medical equipment, deciding what she would like to keep, etc. We took some time to do a photo shoot of Mother's best hats, clothing and purses which although I did not feel like doing at the time, will really help me out when it comes time to post these items for sale. Rachel is going to take the Mini Cooper back to New York, she and John will come back in March for it which is the month the Overture Arcadia lease is up and the weather will be better across the country for driving. In the meantime, I will work on finding homes for the furniture and art which is now back at Overture Arcadia. Luckily there are quite a few great consignment stores around the Phoenix area. Since Mother has been gone I have not had the "work energy" I normally do so I am feeling a little overwhelmed about trying to absorb the useful household items as well as the work involved to sell the rest. I was thinking a consignment store would be a good way to take some of the pressure off.

I was able to post 21 vintage Native American cuff bracelets including this fabulous turquoise and coral piece, many of them on Christmas Day. Since the first of the year, I have only posted two more cuff bracelets - one of which someone committed to purchase but then changed her mind. I still have 20 more cuff bracelets to post from this lot as well as four stunning watch bracelets. I have also started to separate out other jewelry pieces which need to be posted eventually, including quite a few from my personal collection. I have not been up to it yet but I also need to go through Mother's collection to decide what to keep and sell.

Even though I was not able to consistently post new items I did sell six pieces on Etsy including the amazing kachina bolo above. This piece was in a high price bracket but this just shows the power of the Internet, the right person was able to connect with it. I sold a cuff bracelet on Poshmark and two colorful pieces on eBay as well.

I thought I had a buyer on this amazing Southwest Style pendant through Poshmark. Items over a certain value go through authentication on Poshmark, then Poshmark packs it back up and sends it to the customer. There was nothing wrong with the pendant when I shipped it and it was approved by Poshmark. When the customer received it, she said the center stone was loose. At first she said she absolutely loved it and wanted to have it repaired so I directed her to the original artist. Within moments she did a 180 and filed a case against me. Poshmark said they were going to give her a partial refund but ended up allowing her to return it. To compound things, I had the Mount Prospect address on file so it was sent back there. I will need to have it sent to me so I can examine it for myself. I have faith that things will work out for the best - I had given her a substantial discount, more than I was comfortable with.

Short term goals are to give myself some grace and take my time to get back up to full speed again. I am feeling kind of paralyzed by all of the decisions, large and small these days. I had planned the Tucson Gem Show trip long before anything of this happened with Mother and the trip will go forward as planned. We will be heading there in a little more than two weeks from now. It will not be the same without Mother but I will carry on in her honor.

Once I return from Tucson I would like to get to work on the Whatnot live sale project. I may do a setup at Overture Arcadia to make use of the space while we are still renting it. I just need to work out the lighting as I would probably do these shows at night and the living room does not have any built-in lights. I am sure I could get out of the Overture Arcadia lease now but at this point it does not make financial sense. They were going to make Mother pay back all of the concessions she received when she signed the lease, which is the equivalent of about two months rent.

I am not ready yet but sometime in the near future I will dedicate a blog post to Mother, my lifetime "partner in crime" in our side business ventures. There are so many funny stories I could write a book! Mother is the "Rie" in Brie's, Dad used to call her Rie for short. While many people think Brie is a nickname for me, it is actually a combination of the first three letters of Brigid and the last three of Annamarie. Now Mother and Dad are up in Heaven together. It just occurred to me that I am the only McAlpin left, since Rachel is married and now a Kelly.

The main photo was one of Mother's favorites of all time. It captured a fleeting moment of pure happiness. She really loved her Panda as a child.